Compassionate Companions: Understanding the Final Moments of Life

Credit: kokuamau.org

Kokua Mau means “continuous care,” a fitting name for the non-profit hospice in Honolulu, Hawai’i. Beyond offering palliative services, this organization provides information on their website that empowers regular people to understand what happens psychologically and physiologically at the end of life, so that those who are accompanying their loved ones in their final moments can do so in a compassionate and informed way.

Their website discusses, simply and clearly, what is observable and how to respond in a way that helps the dying person transition.

Their website discusses, simply and clearly, what is observable and how to respond in a way that helps the dying person transition. Topics include: the last stages of life, withdrawal from the external world, visions and hallucinations, loss of appetite, change in bowel and bladder functions, confusion, restlessness, and agitation, changes in breathing, congestion in lungs or the throat, change in skin temperature and color, hospice death, saying goodbye, and being present at the moment of death.

Credit: kokuamau.org

Kokua Mau offers helpful reminders such as, “Dying requires energy and focus. Try not to distract the dying person from this necessary preparation. Allow time for silence.” Some helpful tips to make the transitioning person comfortable include preventing chapped lips with lip balm, avoiding exposure to harsh lights, abrupt sounds or sudden movement, and always identifying yourself, remembering that the dying process involves fluctuating shifts in conscious awareness and memory.

It is often emotionally and psychologically difficult to relate to dying people because their state is so altered.

It is often emotionally and psychologically difficult to relate to dying people because their state is so altered. Yet, we all have the ability to apply the holistic perspective of Kokua Mau to support the process of those we love, and care for them with their best interests at heart up till their very last breath.